Saturday, February 12, 2011

Psychiatrists vs. Bartenders

EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE HIDING UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I FINALLY WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM:

'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody hiding under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.'

'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the shrink. 'Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears...'

'How much do you charge?'

'Eighty dollars per visit,' replied the doctor.

'I'll sleep on it,' I said.

Six months later the doctor met me on the street. 'Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?' he asked.

'Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!'

'Is that so!' With a bit of an attitude he said, 'and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?'

'He told me to cut the legs off the bed! - Ain't nobody under there now!!!'

FORGET THE SHRINKS..

HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO A BARTENDER!
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Thursday, December 23, 2010

Happy Holidays!

This holiday season I am reminded how fortunate I am to have faithful cyber friends like you who come back week after week to read the new posts here on Sustain and Abstain. Over the years, many of you have become personal friends as well, and I am grateful for that blessing in my life.

Wishing you and yours a wonderful holiday season wherever it might be that you celebrate the season in this beautiful big World we share!
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Monday, December 6, 2010

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Blog Jog Stop Number?? Dizzy Yet?

Thank you to everyone who visited my Blog on Blog Jog Day!
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Saturday, September 11, 2010

Engineers of Course!


Since my husband is a retired firefighter, we are both avid golfers, and I come from a family of engineers (4 in my immediate family), I absolutely LOVE this joke and want to share it with you.

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting
for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so
we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer
for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
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Friday, July 9, 2010

One of my favorites! Watch out guys!

Look closely.
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Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Tax Preparation and Massage, What a Combo!


It's hard to keep businesses open nowadays. Sometimes combining the work force is a great idea. But how many people need these in one location? Well, maybe they do!!!
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