Sustain and Abstain

Psychiatrists vs. Bartenders

2011-02-12T07:45:00.000-08:00

EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE HIDING UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I FINALLY WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM:

'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody hiding under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.'

'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the shrink. 'Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears...'

'How much do you charge?'

'Eighty dollars per visit,' replied the doctor.

'I'll sleep on it,' I said.

Six months later the doctor met me on the street. 'Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?' he asked.

'Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!'

'Is that so!' With a bit of an attitude he said, 'and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?'

'He told me to cut the legs off the bed! - Ain't nobody under there now!!!'

FORGET THE SHRINKS..

HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO A BARTENDER!

Happy Holidays!

2010-12-23T19:21:00.001-08:00

This holiday season I am reminded how fortunate I am to have faithful cyber friends like you who come back week after week to read the new posts here on Sustain and Abstain. Over the years, many of you have become personal friends as well, and I am grateful for that blessing in my life.

Wishing you and yours a wonderful holiday season wherever it might be that you celebrate the season in this beautiful big World we share!

Merry Christmas LOL!

2010-12-06T08:01:00.000-08:00

The Perfect Gift - watch more funny videos

Blog Jog Stop Number?? Dizzy Yet?

2010-11-20T22:00:00.000-08:00

Thank you to everyone who visited my Blog on Blog Jog Day!

Engineers of Course!

2010-09-11T07:07:00.000-07:00

Since my husband is a retired firefighter, we are both avid golfers, and I come from a family of engineers (4 in my immediate family), I absolutely LOVE this joke and want to share it with you.

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting
for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so
we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer
for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

One of my favorites! Watch out guys!

2010-07-09T20:48:00.000-07:00

Look closely.

Tax Preparation and Massage, What a Combo!

2010-06-29T10:23:00.000-07:00

It's hard to keep businesses open nowadays. Sometimes combining the work force is a great idea. But how many people need these in one location? Well, maybe they do!!!

A Romantic Night in The Tub

2010-06-26T21:23:00.000-07:00

Funny Cat and Bird Video

2010-05-26T08:49:00.000-07:00

This is an Aussie commercial--so funny!

Some People Have all the Luck!

2010-04-24T07:19:00.000-07:00

Lucky me; they say work environment is what keeps you happy on the job. I took this photo from my home office window today. I love rainbows. Isn’t this just beautiful!

There May Be Some Hope for the "Me" Generation After All

2010-04-04T14:01:00.000-07:00

As always, I express without holding back, my feelings about the "me" generation" (teens, 20's, and a few 30's)

This is a video that was submitted in a contest by a 20-year old. The contest was titled "u @ 50" by AARP. This video won second place. When they showed it, everyone in the room was awe-struck and broke into spontaneous applause. So simple and yet so brilliant---take a minute to watch it. I hope there will be more young people who really feel and believe in the "reverse" of this video.

Make sure you read as well as listen…forward and backward.

Click below:

Yea Robert, I'm Tired Too!

2010-03-31T21:55:00.000-07:00

I received this e-mail today and I would like to re-print "most" of it here. Why not all? Because I agreed with "most" of Robert Hall's feelings, but I wouldn't want to see a political battle break out right here on my Blog! By the way, I added the Tiger Woods reference myself!

"I'm 63 and I’m Tired"
by Robert Hall

I'm 63. Except for one semester in college when jobs were scarce and a six-month period when I was between jobs, but job-hunting every day, I've worked, hard, since I was 18. Despite some health challenges, I still put in 50-hour weeks, and haven't called in sick in seven or eight years. I make a good salary, but I didn't inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy, there's no retirement in sight, and I'm tired. Very tired.

I'm tired of being told that I have to "spread the wealth" to people who don't have my work ethic. I'm tired of being told the government will take the money I earned, by force if necessary, and give it to people too lazy to earn it.

I'm tired of being told that I have to pay more taxes to "keep people in their homes." Sure, if they lost their jobs or got sick, I'm willing to help. But if they bought McMansions at three times the price of our paid-off, $250,000 condo, on one-third of my salary, then let the left-wing Congress-critters who passed Fannie and Freddie and the Community Reinvestment Act that created the bubble help them with their own money.

I'm tired of being told I must lower my living standard to fight global warming, which no one is allowed to debate. My wife and I live in a two-bedroom apartment and carpool together five miles to our jobs. We also own a three-bedroom condo where our daughter and granddaughter live. Our carbon footprint is about 5% of Al Gore's, and if you're greener than Gore, you're green enough.

I'm tired of being told that drug addicts have a disease, and I must help support and treat them, and pay for the damage they do. Did a giant germ rush out of a dark alley, grab them, and stuff white powder up their noses while they tried to fight it off? I don't think Gay people choose to be Gay, but I damn sure think druggies chose to take drugs. And I'm tired of harassment from cool people treating me like a freak when I tell them I never tried marijuana.

I'm tired of illegal aliens being called "undocumented workers," especially the ones who aren't working, but are living on welfare or crime. What's next? Calling drug dealers, "Undocumented Pharmacists"? And, no, I'm not against Hispanics. Most of them are Catholic, and it's been a few hundred years since Catholics wanted to kill me for my religion. I'm willing to fast track for citizenship any Hispanic person, who can speak English, doesn't have a criminal record and who is self-supporting without family on welfare, or who serves honorably for three years in our military.... Those are the citizens we need.

I'm tired of hearing wealthy athletes, entertainers and politicians of both parties talking about innocent mistakes, stupid mistakes or youthful mistakes (Tiger Woods!!!), when we all know they think their only mistake was getting caught. I'm tired of people with a sense of entitlement, rich or poor.

Speaking of poor, I'm tired of hearing people with air-conditioned homes, color TVs and two cars called poor. The majority of Americans didn't have that in 1970, but we didn't know we were "poor." The poverty pimps have to keep changing the definition of poor to keep the dollars flowing.

I'm real tired of people who don't take responsibility for their lives and actions. I'm tired of hearing them blame the government, or discrimination or big-whatever for their problems.

Yes, I'm damn tired. But I'm also glad to be 63. Because, mostly, I'm not going to have to see the world these people are making. I'm just sorry for my granddaughter.

Robert A. Hall is a Marine Vietnam veteran who served five terms in the Massachusetts State Senate.

Shocking! This "Me" Generation

2010-03-29T15:02:00.000-07:00

My friend has a daughter in her early 20’s that was living with a boyfriend and needed to move out. She works at a minimum wage job and does work hard. But according to her mother, she spends most of her paycheck after work shopping in the local mall. She wanted a place of her own—I totally understand—I would too. My question to her was, “Can you afford it?” Her reply, “Yes.” So off she went looking for an apartment. Of course, she soon realized, they’re expensive. I suggested staying within her budget and to make life financially easier for her, she should get a roommate. Her final decision was that a roommate would be an inconvenience in her life; she’ll go it alone.

Well again, apartments are expensive. She looks, and she looks, and she looks more. Finally, after deciding she couldn’t possibly live in any of the cheaper apartments she had seen, she upped her budget. Okay, she found a place. My question to her was, “Are you sure you can afford this place?” Her response, “Sure.”

So just last week my friend’s daughter moved into her new apartment. During the week, she went shopping for furniture. Not used furniture of course, new furniture. Here’s where my story begins.

I saw this gal today at her place of work. I said, “How are you?” She said, “Fine.” I asked her how she liked the new apartment. She replied that it was great. Then she said to me…. “After work today, I think I am going down to get food stamps.” Talk about shock! I asked her why. Her reply? “I can’t afford food.”

In a difficult attempt to hold what I really wanted to say to her, I said, “I’m sorry (okay, a little sarcastically), but didn’t you just move into a new apartment by yourself and buy all new furnishings for it?” She of course looked at me dumbfounded and replied with a “yes.” I then proceeded, “Honey, I have never minded paying taxes knowing the money I pay out will go to a person who probably has 3 roommates, maybe has children, works a minimum wage job, and truly has no money for food. But I do have a problem paying taxes to provide you with food, which in all reality, you could afford had you not moved into an expensive apartment, bought new furniture, and stayed out of the mall.”

Now here’s the real shocker (or maybe not). Upon my statement, she relies, “I actually never thought about it that way.” Now, I’m really shocked! Remember, this is the next generation who will run our country, or are they already doing it!

Did We Impeach This Guy??

2010-03-27T07:08:00.000-07:00

"A man who has never lost himself in a cause bigger than himself has missed one of life's mountaintop experiences. Only in losing himself does he find himself."

"What kind of nation we will be, what kind of world we will live in, whether we shape the future in the image of our hopes, is ours to determine by our actions and our choices."

"I like the job I have, but if I had to live my life over again, I would like to have ended up a sports writer."

"Always give your best, never get discouraged, never be petty; always remember, others may hate you. Those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself."

Quotes by Richard Milhous Nixon (1969–1974)

I Love This Quote!

2010-03-27T06:58:00.000-07:00

"Great people are just ordinary people, who usually findthemselves in extra-ordinary situations...and who possessextra-ordinary amounts of determination." -Craig Lock

Life Advice Passed On

2010-03-22T06:18:00.000-07:00

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most
interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern
California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Author Unknown